The Perils And Pitfalls Of Horse Ownership

Ah, horse ownership. The hobby that begins with an innocent thought like “I’ve always loved horses” and ends with you Googling “how to remove dried mud from literally everything I own” at 2am while holding a broken headcollar and questioning your life choices. If that feels… familiar… then welcome. You’ve found your people. And, more importantly, you’ve found this book.

The Perils and Pitfalls of Horse Ownership (2016) by Johanna Sharpe, published by Callisto Green, ISBN: 9781909985131. Condition: Good. As sold by Crappy Old Books.

This is not one of those dreamy, slow-motion, wind-in-the-mane, cinematic horse books where everyone is inexplicably clean and nobody ever has to wrestle a damp rug in sideways rain. This is the other horse book. The honest one. The one that looks you straight in the eye and says, “You wanted a horse. Congratulations. Now meet the consequences.”

Johanna Sharpe delivers what the title promises: a tour through the glorious chaos of horse ownership, where:

• plans are made in good faith and destroyed by weather,

• your bank account becomes a tragic comedy,

• your horse develops a mysterious limp five minutes before a big event,

• and you learn that “quick trip to the yard” is a phrase with no basis in reality.

It’s a handbook for survival, a reality check wrapped in humour, and a gentle reminder that horses are basically large, lovable conspiracy machines designed to generate unexpected expenses. You will nod. You will laugh. You may wince. You may experience a strange sense of relief that it’s not just you.

And yet—despite all this—horse people keep going back. Because somewhere between the lost gloves, the emergency vet calls, the inexplicable stains and the mud that has achieved a kind of spiritual permanence, there’s that moment: the quiet nicker, the soft nose, the ride that finally clicks, the feeling that this ridiculous, beautiful creature is worth it. This book understands that paradox. It doesn’t try to cure you. It just helps you cope.

Condition: Good. Which feels poetically appropriate for a book about horse ownership, because “good” is also how most horse owners describe life while standing in a puddle, holding a tangled lead rope, and insisting they’re having a great time. Expect a solid, readable copy: it’s been around, it’s seen things, it’s still standing — much like you, after a winter season.

Perfect for:

• New horse owners who still believe in “budgeting”

• Long-time horse owners who need validation and a laugh

• Friends/family of horse owners who want to understand the madness

• Anyone considering buying a horse and still smiling

Less suited to:

• People who dislike mud, unpredictability, or emotional commitment to unpredictable mud-generators

• Anyone who wants their hobbies calm, affordable, and dry

In short: a witty, practical, gently savage companion for anyone who’s ever owned, loaned, leased, rescued, shared, borrowed, or otherwise been emotionally blackmailed by a horse. Buy it, read it, and feel seen.

Available now from Crappy Old Books, where we specialise in the kind of second-hand wisdom that arrives slightly scuffed, entirely honest, and weirdly comforting.

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